home

Waking up
To brick walls
taupe halls
White window blinds
wooden floors
white doors
The train roaring by
car horns blaring
No snow to be found
On the paved ground
Alone in this room
The yellow walls
surround me
the glass, shear as ice
Explaining the temperature
The frigid air
chills me to the bone
Is this home?

Am I the problem?

My first boyfriend and I dated for two and half years. The girl he started going out with afterwards he is still with. My relationships since have been what many would consider "long term", but I'm starting to worry that its me. That I'm the problem. I'm not saying I don't recognize what I did wrong in these relationships that caused them to fail. Generally a failing relationship is a mutual thing. But what if I am THE problem. What if I am incapable of maintaining a stable relationship beyond a certain point? My dad seems incapable of maintaining relationships. He constantly complains about the people his is with. What if I'm headed down that path? What if my anxiety and insecurities eventually drive M.P. away too? =( He seems fine now, but... I don't know. I miss him.

Prism

People say that reading someone else's' writing
Is a way of staring into their mind
A way of seeing their exact thoughts
At an exact moment in time
A snapshot if you will
A snapshot of their mind
But is it?
Does this theory
Take into account characters?
Different mindsets?
Specific ideas or thoughts
With no relation to the remainder?
Can you only write about
What you have experienced?
Or can an author effectively pretend?
Create an illusion
Isn't that what fantasy writing is?
How many of you have
Actually seen a dragon?
Or levitated objects
With your mind?
And vampires?
Do I even need
To start on that one?
Where does the line between
reality and illusion truly exist?
On what plane?
In what time?
What is illusion?
What is reality?
Who am I?

Another really Sappy love poem with lots of enjambment

The magic of your spell
Caresses me in my sleep
And when I wake
To your warm embrace
The strength of your arms
Your crooked smile
To meet and kiss
To stare into
Your hazel eyes
Their golden glint
In a sea of green
Their gaze draws
From my lips
The words that
never before have
Ever been so true
And your reply
Confirms my single desire
To lay in your arms
My head against your chest
And nothing more

fear of living

My throat closes
My eyes squeeze tight
The panic sets in
Can you give a name
To what makes me jump
Why my voice goes high
Why my body tenses
And my sense of worth
Vanishes as I watch
Myself and everyone around us
Watch the movie go on
And cry myself to sleep
For never having a single part

Tomorrow

When I wake tomorrow
I will feel nothing more
Not the wind on my face
Nor your hand at my door
For when I go to sleep tonight
I will lay my head upon the block
And prepare for death's swift chop
And then no longer, no longer will I
Continue to exist upon this shore
And though it pains me to my core
To see your smiling face no more
Oh sorrow, sorrow, but alas now I go.

fear

The world is closing in on me now
I watch it spin, as it howls and screams
Threatening me with its horrible teeth
Breathing becomes harder
The air grows colder
As I feel it choking me
Intoxicating me with fear
Soon I'll be blinded by tears
I cannot escape
I must accept my fate
Or turn and flee
Risking all that could be
Crushing my chances
Condemning these dances
Throwing away your perfect embrace
As I look to my future
Alone and without a trace